What is it about?
Most outsiders understandably assume that BDSM and sex are naturally linked; however, in reality, as people become more involved in the pansexual BDSM subculture, they often learn to disconnect BDSM desires and practices from sex and sexual desire. Although the subculture encourages members to be more sexually free than the broader culture does, as subcultural involvement increases, members are considerably less likely to include sex with their BDSM--but much more likely to include BDSM with their sex.
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Why is it important?
Scholars of BDSM have long been confused in their work about the relationship between sex and BDSM--usually categorizing BDSM as a form of "sexuality," but sometimes arguing that it is divorced from sex altogether. This article draws from extensive insider observations, 70 in-depth interviews, and an extensive survey with members of the BDSM subculture to show that the confusion among scholars is reflected among members of the BDSM subculture as well. It appears that BDSM is probably not "inherently" sexual, but it is usually sexual for most people who engage in it often. This article also helps to demonstrate how desire can be socially shaped; in this case, people who identify as "kinky" come to learn new ways to frame their kinky desires as non-sexual or semi-sexual through involvement in the BDSM community.
Perspectives
As a longtime member of the BDSM community myself, I am often frustrated by the authoritative way that both scholars and community members themselves will often speak authoritatively about the relationship between sex and BDSM--either claiming that BDSM is "obviously" sexual, or claiming that is not. I know from both personal and scholarly experience that both of these answers are massive oversimplifications. BDSM is hard to define; sex/sexual is hard to define; and trying to determine whether BDSM (or anything else) is or is not "sexual" is quite challenging in practice. The answer is, quite definitively, "it's complicated": BDSM is neither only sexual, nor only non-sexual. It depends on the individual, the partnership dynamic, the activity, and the broader social context.
Julie Fennell
Engineering Dynamics, LLC
Read the Original
This page is a summary of: It’s complicated: Sex and the BDSM subculture, Sexualities, October 2020, SAGE Publications,
DOI: 10.1177/1363460720961303.
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